VIVA FUTBOL AMERICANO

I'm sober and I have about 15 minutes to kill. Unfortunately, this may be the last sober 15 minutes I have until Saturday. Without further ado, my weekly football picks!

KC +3 Cincinnati-Even the Chiefs can score on the Bengals D!!!
Houston +6.5 Jacksonville-Look for a close low scoring game (No way, a Jags game???) I'm not unconvinced Houston couldn't pull off the outright win here.
Cleveland -4.5 Miami-UGH...somebody has to win? Miami sucks so....yeah...Browns it is.
Chicago -6 Minnesota-How strange was it to hear Lovie Smith talking about effective QB play after the Packers game? Even with Chicago's over-rated defense, the Vikes can't score.
NY Jets +3 Philly-I'm unimpressed with either team but am going to take the home dog.
St. Louis +9.5 Baltimore-Baltimore is clearly over-rated. The Lambs suck, but can surely keep it to single digits, no?
Tennessee +3 Tampa Bay-Strangely, I'm looking forward to this game. The Bucs are not near as bad as they looked last week at Indy, but give me the points with a Titans team that is scrappy enough to play with anybody (outside of New England).
Green Bay -3 Washington-The Pack choked last week. This is a young team that will rebound with a fury against the Skins. Can the Skins score more than 14 at Lambeau? I say no.
Carolina +4 Arizona-It's official. The Cardinals have a bandwagon. Look for the train to derail before it picks up steam. Panthers win outright.
New England -5.5 Dallas-I don't care if it's in Dallas, don't bet against the Pats until further notice.
Oakland +10 San Diego-The Chargers showed what they are really made of for 1 week. With that much talent, it's about time! Unfortunately they are giving too many points in a game where both teams hate each other. Oakland may not be awful? Stay tuned.
New Orleans +6.5 Seattle-I hate this pick, but at some point the Saints are going to show signs of life. I'm gambling it's this week.
Atlanta +3.5 NY Giants-Did we not pay attention last week? Monday Night home dog AND Atlanta has nothing to lose. I can't fathom taking the Giants here. Harrington throws for over 300 and oh yeah...the G-Men still can't tackle!